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28 Фев 2015 | Author: | Комментарии к записи Drive Nacho Drive volkswagen vanagon — Volkswagen Vanagon отключены
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The Rally Crashers

One thing come to appreciate about our Asian friends is their to coerce us into doing activities that we would otherwise do. This subtle is achieved through nonchalance and a of urgency, such as the time TengTsen Khoo made us on The Apprentice. unclean, unshaven, and in my in desperate need of a haircut.

We have recognized the signs our Thai friend Pat called us one morning as we lounged around our apartment.

“Hi Brad, are you guys today?” (Testing the waters.)

wearing my underwear, and planned to do so dinner time. Why, up?” (Naïveté.)

“There’s a car show today. Do you guys to go with me?” (Trickery,

“Sure, we’ll go. Sounds fun! ” (Fell for it.)

right, meet me at the National You might see a couple of people in (Lies, all lies.)

After our way through Bangkok traffic, we our way to the National museum. The casual in which Pat mentioned this has given us a false sense of We turn into the National and slam on the brakes. Something fishy.

There aren’t Volkswagens around, though are dozens of shiny classic Bentleys, Rolls Royces, Porsches. A small boy walks by some kind of 1920′s shorts with suspenders and a cap. This, incidentally, is a match to the 1920′s roadster he’s arrived in.

Seeing our a young man—one of Pat’s

“Hi Brad and Sheena! You can park there. My name is Kaeg. No that’s not how you say it. No, it’s not Keg either. just call me Samurai, I it’s easier for Americans to Follow me, I’ll show you to register and get your number

Samurai points to a parking in between a classic Austin and a Rolls Royce, and he’s serious. The cars are so shiny as I pass by I can see my reflection in the paint, and I like a total sucker. A driving a mud-coated van with a steel box hanging on the bumper.

arriving in back in Thailand, we found the time to wash This means that our paint is invisible under layers of brown Cambodian applied as if to a Jackson Pollock over weeks of driving roads of brown Cambodian

Sheena wants to hide. She for me to take her home where she can under the covers of our fluffy bed, but It’s too late. stands around a flagpole and we to the King’s Anthem, and then photographs are taken of the drivers of the cars, ourselves included. take pictures of the cars, and succeeds in ruining all of the photos. ushered back to our cars and on the street, a big classic car train through Bangkok traffic—a car train with a fat, 1984 caboose with a box bolted on the back.

We drive out of the and find our way to a temple in the countryside. Pat joins the rally driving his VW Doka as if nothing were As if he weren’t taking the mickey out of muddy, slightly ugly

“Hi Brad and Sheena, you made

“Yeah, here we are. when you said that we going to a car show, you might forgotten to mention that we in the car show.”

“What? Hey, do you how to grease a CV joint? ” An underhanded change, no doubt. He knows I have a soft spot for on CV joints in parking lots. I get under way, Sheena is away by Samurai.

“Hello Come with me, I’ll you a tour.”

And with this, is whisked away for a tour of the where she will spend the ten minutes looking at sacred eating coconut ice cream, and little Buddha idols. Pat me paper towels to wipe the grease from my arms, and he guesses that I prefer to looking at temples.

Nacho several more photographs and it’s time to move on to the stop. I still feel about sullying the clean of this show.

“Pat, so, is a classic car rally, right?”

Are you having a good time?”

it’s wonderful, but do you think we really belong here? I Nacho is from 1984.”

“Oh everyone’s leaving!”

Before we it we’ve parked at another and are climbing into a double London bus, which is to us to lunch. Our new friend Dcim ( Sim ) is photos and I’m minding my own business all of a sudden an electrical wire out of nowhere and its trajectory promises to Dcim from behind. My reflex is faster than my warning reflex, and I only to warn Dcim about the after he’s been by it. Oopsies!

Moments later, while the young boy in pantaloon shorts, my temporarily goes black a stationary tree branch with my temple. Double busing in Thailand is not for faint-hearted or the We wise up and put more emphasis on We pass under several low power lines, but this we have an appointed powerline to walk the length of the bus carrying the wires in his bare hands. first!

At lunch, a troop of decorated dancing Thai entertains us over tea and an elaborate buffet. As is becoming a theme, we out our meal with even coconut ice cream. Before we it we’re back on the bus, in our cars, and jetting off to Jesada: an museum containing the collection of one collector.

The final stop of the day is at a back in the city. We all park in a line and go inside. Another has been erected, which is into separate sections to the food from each of Thailand. We gorge ourselves on food, demarcating each with coconut ice cream inside of actual coconuts. from the university’s fine department take the stage and a traditional Thai dance.

And it’s time for the awards

The awards ceremony?

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The awards ceremony. I listen to a many minutes long, of Thai language, listening for my Each person goes to the and then I hear it.

“Ching who chang dee doh—Brad Van Orden—dingo Volkswagen.”

I accept my award for all of the classic car club’s photos, I to bow to my gracious host, and walk off the where I proceed to the coconut ice stand to lose myself in substance abuse.

A moment as I whip my tongue across my trying to mop up a few stray drops of coconut, Pat approaches.

“Hi Brad! I see you like the coconut ice cream.” He for a moment, and then continues. going on TV in four minutes.” And that, he turns and begins away.

“Pat! Huh!?” By now forgotten about the ice cream on my and I fire off a barrage of questions as I behind Pat.

“On TV? But why? Do you what kind of show? Is it, local or national?” I don’t know where to start. minutes.

“Do you see that guy over who looks like Elvis Every person in Thailand who he is. You’re going on his show. the most famous car show in I shoot a worried look to Sheena, my unfailing moral woman who stands by my side thick and thin.

“Leave me out of she wails, and then turns her on me.

Before I know what’s I’m standing next to Elvis who goes by the name Sheeva, questions about our world I can still smell the coconut ice on my own breath and out of the corner of my eye I see Sheena a smug look on her face, and eating—can it be? A fresh coconut of ice cream! The scheming weasel!

Oh yes, we’ve had many on our trip…”—I hope the coconut ice lady is still operational this interview is over— “in our transmission failed…”— if she got the last I swear to God— “our failed, our wheel bearings Is that? No! The coconut lady! are you going?!

Here’s the interview; our starts at 9:20.

When the wraps up, we stand around to Sheeva as dusk settles in. passionate about classic with larger-than-life style, and he through photos on his iPhone, us the cars he’s designed and himself. The Chevy he’s today is of his own design. As he talks, he of something and his eyes light up. He the back door to his truck and around for a minute, finally with a bottle of his namesake Sheeva WOP—WOP being an for World of Peace, not a derogatory slur for an Italian person. We add the Sheeva WOP to Nacho’s onboard bar.

As night settles on the lot, the rest of the car club has home. Now it’s only and his camera guys; Pat, his and son; Dcim; the curator of the car museum; Sheena and me. As we begin ways, Sheeva tells us to He runs to his Chevy, opens the and grabs the dreamcatcher that from his rearview mirror; we learn that this is a part of his brand persona, in several of his TV intro clips for his He presents the dreamcatcher to us and wishes us on our trip.

Just before we all head our ways, the curator of the Jesada has exciting news to share us.

“We are so happy to have you in Bangkok,” he “and as you know, next is the Queen’s birthday.” True, we did know this. Go on. “So the Jesada would like to invite you and to drive a historic miniature car the museum in the Queen’s birthday My first instinct is to shoot a at Pat to see if he has anything to do with this. No . I to myself, Pat’s brand of is far more subtle.

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